SPRING! It has finally arrived with a vengeance! Nate has turned 4, we have been to the circus, moved across town, had a new litter of kittens, kids are all in new schools, went on a short vacation to Missouri, and I'm sure I am missing something! Its been a busy couple of months. Our first house on the West side of town finally sold, and we moved to the East side of town. Much better school district, renting a slightly smaller place here but lovely neighborhood and wonderful yard! We actually know 2 families in our neighborhood. One is a RN  that I work with and one is an old chef that Bill used to work with at Marriott! There is a park right down the street and the yard is fenced for the dogs! We even have a fire pit in the back yard.
Nate had a piñata for his birthday party. We had a couple of friends over. Here are a few pics.

 We had the "party" on St Patrick's Day, in case you were wondering about the green.

 Our friends Brendan, Everett, and Will came for piñata bashing and cake :-)

 Nate got a big boy bike for his birthday, he picked out the helmet!

 This is his buddy Will. Will's mom and I have been friends for years. He lives very close to our new house!

Mackenzie's cat, Patches, married Ben's cat, Mufasa, and they had babies. 5 of them. They are adorable. And oddly enough, Mufasa, seems to really enjoy helping Patches take care of them. He gets into the birthing box at every opportunity and helps to groom them...and if Patches is taking a break, he gets in with the babies and cuddles with them. 3 are tiger striped like Daddy and 2 are black .....kinda like mommy.

Sweet little family right? :-)

Sandee, is obsessed with the kittens. She watched this one for about 20 minutes.

 This poor baby really didn't want a bath...he kept kicking his dad in the face....but no mercy!

 Here is the king! Isn't he pretty? He is huge! But muscular. No fat.

 Nate wanted to take a pic hugging him....he was about to put his claws out and run.

 two of the tiger babies sleeping together...no, I did not position them...they did this themselves!

 Another bath.....see the gold head sticking out from under dad's butt?

 One is escaping!

 Here is dad with 2 of his mini's.

One other fun event that I was privileged to attend this month was a birthday party. One of my dearest friends has a baby girl who just turned 1yr old. She invited us to the party. I took Nate and we joined the family to celebrate. It was a beautiful day and we spent several hours outside. She is a beautiful baby. 

So now April is just around the corner. Just a few more weeks of school left and then summer will be here. Mackenzie is failing just about every subject she is taking, Ben is not far behind. Nate is about the only thing that I touch that I don't feel directly responsible for ruining. I know that is not fair. But my inability to manage and remember tasks, jobs, homework, assignments, and keep track of everything is really becoming a problem.

I have been hoping for the past 3 years to go on a trip with my youngest sister in a couple of weeks. But of course I never got around to saving money for the trip. In addition to that, my mom was planning to come and take care of the kids so I could go, and now my grandma is very ill and she may not be able to come. I NEED this time. I need to recharge, time to remember who I am and what it is that I do and why and that I CAN do it well. I know that Mackenzie's failures are not all a reflection on me, but in a lot of ways they are. Ben's certainly are. My work tasks not being prioritized .....that is certainly my own fault. I don't want to feel selfish about needing some time to unwind. I know it doesn't seem fair, me going away, someplace quiet and nice without the fam. But this is a once in a never thing. I just need to do it. And I REALLY NEED to feel like its ok.

I just pray that grandma hangs on, if that is what is supposed to happen and Mom can come. And I can go. I need to clear my head. And do some writing. 

I had waited for years to meet someone, and I finally got to. But I still feel that there are a lot of things that are unsaid on both sides. I'm unsettled. Troubled, and in this, alone.

"If there ever comes a time when we're not together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever"