Clarification

Just to clarify....when I said meet "someone" , I was talking about meeting my daughter. I was lucky enough to do that recently. She is truly amazing and incredibly beautiful, just like Mackenzie. They loved each other!

SPRING! It has finally arrived with a vengeance! Nate has turned 4, we have been to the circus, moved across town, had a new litter of kittens, kids are all in new schools, went on a short vacation to Missouri, and I'm sure I am missing something! Its been a busy couple of months. Our first house on the West side of town finally sold, and we moved to the East side of town. Much better school district, renting a slightly smaller place here but lovely neighborhood and wonderful yard! We actually know 2 families in our neighborhood. One is a RN  that I work with and one is an old chef that Bill used to work with at Marriott! There is a park right down the street and the yard is fenced for the dogs! We even have a fire pit in the back yard.
Nate had a piñata for his birthday party. We had a couple of friends over. Here are a few pics.

 We had the "party" on St Patrick's Day, in case you were wondering about the green.

 Our friends Brendan, Everett, and Will came for piñata bashing and cake :-)

 Nate got a big boy bike for his birthday, he picked out the helmet!

 This is his buddy Will. Will's mom and I have been friends for years. He lives very close to our new house!

Mackenzie's cat, Patches, married Ben's cat, Mufasa, and they had babies. 5 of them. They are adorable. And oddly enough, Mufasa, seems to really enjoy helping Patches take care of them. He gets into the birthing box at every opportunity and helps to groom them...and if Patches is taking a break, he gets in with the babies and cuddles with them. 3 are tiger striped like Daddy and 2 are black .....kinda like mommy.

Sweet little family right? :-)

Sandee, is obsessed with the kittens. She watched this one for about 20 minutes.

 This poor baby really didn't want a bath...he kept kicking his dad in the face....but no mercy!

 Here is the king! Isn't he pretty? He is huge! But muscular. No fat.

 Nate wanted to take a pic hugging him....he was about to put his claws out and run.

 two of the tiger babies sleeping together...no, I did not position them...they did this themselves!

 Another bath.....see the gold head sticking out from under dad's butt?

 One is escaping!

 Here is dad with 2 of his mini's.

One other fun event that I was privileged to attend this month was a birthday party. One of my dearest friends has a baby girl who just turned 1yr old. She invited us to the party. I took Nate and we joined the family to celebrate. It was a beautiful day and we spent several hours outside. She is a beautiful baby. 

So now April is just around the corner. Just a few more weeks of school left and then summer will be here. Mackenzie is failing just about every subject she is taking, Ben is not far behind. Nate is about the only thing that I touch that I don't feel directly responsible for ruining. I know that is not fair. But my inability to manage and remember tasks, jobs, homework, assignments, and keep track of everything is really becoming a problem.

I have been hoping for the past 3 years to go on a trip with my youngest sister in a couple of weeks. But of course I never got around to saving money for the trip. In addition to that, my mom was planning to come and take care of the kids so I could go, and now my grandma is very ill and she may not be able to come. I NEED this time. I need to recharge, time to remember who I am and what it is that I do and why and that I CAN do it well. I know that Mackenzie's failures are not all a reflection on me, but in a lot of ways they are. Ben's certainly are. My work tasks not being prioritized .....that is certainly my own fault. I don't want to feel selfish about needing some time to unwind. I know it doesn't seem fair, me going away, someplace quiet and nice without the fam. But this is a once in a never thing. I just need to do it. And I REALLY NEED to feel like its ok.

I just pray that grandma hangs on, if that is what is supposed to happen and Mom can come. And I can go. I need to clear my head. And do some writing. 

I had waited for years to meet someone, and I finally got to. But I still feel that there are a lot of things that are unsaid on both sides. I'm unsettled. Troubled, and in this, alone.

"If there ever comes a time when we're not together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever"

Goals for this year

As we start a new year with fresh plates and strong resolve (well actually we are starting the second month of the new year so I am way late already), I wonder what we expect in the next few months.

You know, every year we hear the doomday prophets predict how we will meet our doom THIS year or how the stock market will really tank this year. But how much time do any of us really spend thinking about our future? I was talking to a young lady yesterday about her retirement planning. She is in her early 20’s and in a serious committed relationship. She was telling me that she and her boyfriend have been discussing their finances and asking their parents for advice on how to plan for their financial future! What a great idea! How mature! I am approaching 40 and my husband and I have been married for 16 years. We are still very foolish about money and have just in the last few years realized how dumb we have really been for the last decade! I really wish that we had had these types of conversations when we were dating! I wish more young people realized how important it is to really have these deep uncomfortable conversations with your insignificant other BEFORE you decide to spend the rest of your life with them. If you bothered to TALK to them before choosing them for your life partner….maybe you would realize that you don’t agree on some of these rarely discussed topics. Too often we think that certain subjects are not necessary for “dating” couples to discuss……WRONG! Everything that you think about, believe in, want, dream about. All those things need to be discussed , weighed, with the person that you are thinking about spending your life with. Nothing is too trivial to discuss or spend time talking about. This time before you make that final commitment is rare and short, use it wisely. J

Money….finances. All bring a grit to my teeth and a stabbing pain to my abd. What is it about money that makes us to crazy. Wanting it, needing it, spending it. It seems to just ooze through our hands. Budgeting is so painful..my husband and I go back and forth on who is responsible for sending the bills out and keeping track of the register. Honestly, neither of us is very good at it. I am not good at writing things down as I spend, and he is not good at really using the register balance……he looks at the bank balance too much. Money is the only thing that we fight over. Well, it used to be. Over time, it has led to other fights. But they have all started with money. It makes us crazy. Our church is currently covering a series called the “Big Bad Wolf”. Pastor is giving money a persona….that of a wolf. Like any pet, if you don’t train it, it will ruin your house. It must be trained, and kept in check. Money is not necessarily bad, it just must be kept under control. Pastor recommends saving for specific goals rather than for unexpected emergencies.  He pays cash whenever possible.  He follows a budget, he gives heavily (following Christ’s recommendation of 10%) and has a set % pulled from his paycheck and deposited directly into his retirement account. The deposit amount has not changed over the years even though his salary has increased.  We used to pay tithe, but we have not for years. We both agree that we did better financially when we paid tithe. But I think that we need to make sure that we are doing for the right reasons. And every time that we talk about it, the concern that I feel from my husband (and a little from myself as well) is that we really cannot afford to give that much. I honestly am not sure that we can afford not to.

End of Year

I am going through some old electronic files and came across some photos......what is it that makes it so enjoyable to reminisce? Even when it bring up sad memories, I still love to look back. Have a look.

This  is Nate, in the fall of 2009 after coming back from the pumpkin patch with our harvest!

This is a camping trip to Hocking Hills in Spring of 2007. Dustin and Manette went with us, but Manette had horrible morning sickness, she was green the entire time:-(

But we still had fun!

Manette and I took Mackenzie to Chicago for her 9th birthday. This was taken on the train that we rode on every day.

Mackenzie at Liz's wedding in June of 2004?

The big day! She was beautiful but it was HOT!

This is Mackenzie summer 2011 at Lake Erie with the Chases. Isn't she beautiful!

Here are the best buddies! Nate and Brendan have been friends for a while....but it never seems to get old! They really love playing together.

These pics were from this past summer at Lake Erie with the Chases.

This goes quite a bit further back to Spring of 2008.

Nathaniel Owen was born at 2:54 on March 7, 2008. During the worst snow storm of the year!

Gran Margie and Alexa were on hand to be some of the first greeters of the new family member. Alexa cut the cord!

Manette was very upset that she could not drag her own baby into the snow to come and see us! Dustin was working and already nearby, so he came instead!

We did not realize until he was 2 days old, that his clavicle was broken :-(

 Southern Cousins visit....Jonathan and Madelyn Talley

 First introduction of the soon to be best buddies :-)

Guess I really should have just reviewed the past year, but I am not organized enough to do that.

New Year and its resolutions is fast approaching. I think this year I may even break tradition and make a few of my own. Each year is streaming past with more speed than I ever could have imagined. Mackenzie is a high school student! I have been married for 16 years! I am 2 years away from being 40 :-(
This holiday season has been wonderful. We are so blessed. I hope that 2012 brings more happiness, peace and rest than any year before it....I wish safety for our soldiers, at home and overseas, and that above all, I can remember who to be thankful to and why.

Happy New Year!

I can hardly believe that Christmas is just a few days away.

We barely got our tree up in time this year. I always tend to procrastinate, but its getting rediculous!

This year my oldest, decided she did not want to help with decorating the tree, rather than ruin everyone's evening, the boys and I did it ourselves.

Nate's favorite thing was testing all of the lights.

He enjoyed trying to hang them on the tree too!

Bill held him up so Nate could put the angel on the tree.

I tried to keep the breakables away from little hands, but we broke 3 balls before it was all said and done. I panicked and put all the ornaments before we were quite finished. In retrospect, the tree is a bit sparce......but the ornaments are safe and Nate rearranges everything he can reach at least once a day!

At the end of the night, Nate was very proud of the tree!

Merry Christmas!

"Gifts"

Can't believe its almost Christmas! This year has just flown by so quickly....the older I get the faster time goes..like sand in a bottle!
Well, since the last post, the weather has turned a bit dreary, lots of rain and cold.

I have been to Indianapolis to visit my new niece, Princess Ella. She is a precious little sweet smelling bundle of love! Of course, I could not visit her without also paying homage to the original Princess Chloe and Trenton the "Bat". It was a very busy day...lots of fun. I really need to read my camera manual because I still don't know what I am doing half of the time! But I did get a few cute pics.

We have recently finished a series of study at church about growing "strong". During one of the study discussions, we were asked what we thought our "gifts" were and how we could use them to be of service in a daily manner. At first I felt a little smug....I thought..I'm good, people like me, I go out of my way all the time to help people. Showing strangers across the hospital, stopping to help pts who appear lost, picking up trash on the floor. Then my husband gently pointed out that he did not believe that my compassionate giving heart was one of my best gifts! I could not believe it! Clearly this is what I excel at! He named 2 of my co-workers that I consistently butt heads with and said, "would you go out of your way for either of these two people without being asked on a daily basis? You are only kind, generous, and compassionate to people that you want to help...not just anyone! I was hurt! How could he say that? Then I realized that it was true, I was not known for my big heart that could tolerate any insult, forgive any sin, always be counted on to help, no matter who was on the receiving end....

But that is who I want to be! I want to be known and remembered for my ability to see all people the same. To hold no grudge, to never pass along a bit of juicy gossip that is hurtful, to always be willing to go far out of my way to help! ANYONE! Friend or foe.....actually to have no foe!

You see, I learned that there is a difference between being a servant and doing service. I servant would treat everyone the same, they have to. Doing service implies that its voluntary. I want to resolve that this change will come from deep within and my family will be the first to witness it.

Ben and Kenzie took cards off the Angel tree at church and will spend $20 of their own money to buy a gift, so tomorrow we are going shopping! Also buying some used clothes for a family in Busco that we "adopted". Can't wait, should be fun!

found this old pic from 2005, Children's museum in INDY. Does anyone else remember how hilarious this was? LOL